In Ninth Trade, some might be wondering why it took us chickens so long to trade like the amazing safari offer, but we took our time finding the next trade and for good reason. We had plenty of kind people interested in the safari, many didn’t know what they could trade, and a few had some interesting ideas , from law firm services, to a car park space in Sydney’s CBD for a year, to breast implant services by a plastic.
Now the last one was tempting, considering we are three backyard chickens who do get around a bit. Always being in the public eye we have become a bit self-conscious of our modest breasts. In our travels we have met many other chickens and it has become apparent that our breasts are half the size of some our friends, such as Suzie who for who for some reason lives in a cage. We think she must have had some work done because in all our travels through all the fields and all the backyards never have we seen such large breasts, they really are a spectacle. For some time we were jealous, but some kind friends have pointed out that we shouldn’t desire such large breasts as it might bring forth some unwanted attention, not only with cocks, but with our human friends too. We are going to ask Susie for some advice, but we haven’t been able to get hold of her for a while, perhaps she’s gone on a holiday… So we took Shakira’s wise words ‘Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains’ and decided to be proud of our natural beauty and just swing our sexy.
Then, to everyone’s surprise, Loco, of all chickens came up with a brilliant idea. She was laying down looking up at the clouds one day, admiring the beauty of the world that we live in, and she thought to herself, if only she had hands, she’d be able to paint the incredible things that she sees.
Several weeks later, Loco wrote Craig Ruddy an email, asking whether he’d be interested in going on a Safari! Within no time at all Craig replied with a definite “YES” in an email entitled “I’m In.” Here’s how it went:
What came first the chicken or the art? This question has been on everyone’s mind perpetually for millennia. Well we’re gonna let you in on a little secret, it was the chickens! Throughout history artists have been unable to resist our beauty. So when Loco emailed Craig, well she kind of assumed he’d take the rare opportunity to do her portrait. She even developed an array of poses sure to impress.
Loco’s pretty confident her portrait would be a walk up winner in next year’s Archibald prize. The only question that comes to mind is whether chickens are an acceptable subject? Craig’s already been the victim of some Archibald controversy with his winning 2004 portrait of David Gulpili titled ‘Two worlds.’
Craig then showed the ‘Two Worlds” masterpiece to Loco and to say she got a little excited would be a major Euphemism. She thinks might have blown her chances. Craig the great guy he is, took the whole thing very well and had a great chuckle, but had to break the news to Loco that the portrait wouldn’t be of her.
It turns out that whilst Loco was busy perfecting her image, Trevi and Hotbox were getting busily reacquainted with an old friend. When Craig caught whiff that us Chooks are lost friends of Cathy Freeman, the painting subject was set in stone.
And so it was so that Craig Ruddy, Australia’s premier artist was to paint Australia’s greatest icon Cathy Freeman, a historical moment of two greats colliding. From the age of 10 it was Cathy’s dream to become one of the world’s greatest athletes, this she achieved. But being a part of Cathy’s inner sanctum we can offer you this advice, the best of Cathy Freeman is yet to come. Her Sydney 2000 Olympic Gold carried the weight of a nation and she became the symbol for Australia’s bright future. Today her work for the Catherine Freeman Foundation (CFF) is making that future! The fire in Cathy is burning brighter than ever. Click here to read more about Cathy Freeman or here for Craig Ruddy.